A restart on blogging!!

     I will start this post with an update on where we are in this crazy journey of fighting this cancer. I realize it has been a long time since I updated here. I can't explain it in a way that makes sense but I am just better at talking about stuff than I am writing about it. I always hated creative writing class at school and sometimes writing a blog feels like a creative writing assignment. But I want this to be about sharing with you the reader where we are not only physically but also I want to share some of the thing God is doing in my heart. 

    The scans we did in January showed there aren't any tumors! We breathed a sigh of relief and praise God every day for the healing work He is doing in my body! My oncologist recommended I do 6 more treatments to knock out any stray cancer cells that might still be there. I am in the middle of those 6 rounds of chemo right now. I do a treatment every other Thursday and bring the chemo home with me in a pump til Saturday when my infusion nurse comes out and unhooks me. I haven't gotten real sick with these treatments but I feel like I have a flu for a couple days and the couch is my best friend. I have 3 more treatments to go!!!!

      God has protected my body from sickness and infections in such an incredible way. I haven't spent time in the hospital besides for my surgery in October. My oncologist continues to be amazed at how good my blood work is and he says every time I see him "You look so good and healthy! Just keep doing what you are doing." And every time I remind him that God is healing me!

      When  I think back since my surgery I am overwhelmed by the goodness of God and all the blessings He has poured out on us. It took a long time for my body to recover from the surgery and I was in a dark place of discouragement and depression for a couple weeks. It felt to me like nothing was getting better and life would never be "normal" again. Well life still isn't normal but it is good any way. My friends and family poured out so much love and support to me and our family over that time and I met God face down on my bed many times. I know God in such a more personal way because of that dark, vulnerable time. I don't wish something like that on anyone but I am so thankful for all God showed me in that time. God is real and He is faithful in our time of need and always! I clearly remember the days when I would stand in the shower and beg Him to give me enough strength to finish my shower and for the day ahead. The verse that says " in our weakness He is made perfect" came alive to me. When I am strong I tend to forget that He is the very breath that I breathe and I am nothing without Him. 

      These days I am back to being mom and taking care of most of the household chores like doing the laundry, cleaning and cooking. I thank God that I can drive myself places and do the grocery shopping on my own (although I like to take one of the boys along because their muscles come in real handy!). 

     Our boys have been so incredibly patient and understanding this past year. They have grown in so many ways and I pray they will be better men because of some things they had to deal with. I pray God uses this for good in their lives.

     I continue to ask God for purpose in this journey and He shows me good things that happen along the way so many times. Each time someone shares what God is teaching them as they watch me and our family in this journey I thank God for showing me purpose. Because if even one person is drawn closer to God through our story that gives it purpose.  

     Isaiah 26:3 is one of my favorite verses and reminds me to trust God every day/hour/minute "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you" I have peace from God but I need to trust Him in order to be blessed by His peace. So I will keep working in making trust my default instead of worry. Maybe I will talk about that some more another day because it is such an huge part of my journey - this thing of trusting God!

     Be blessed!